Saturday, November 28, 2009

Monday, November 2, 2009

Happy November

It was a baseball cap. It was black with a red Aerosmith logo. It was too small for your head, but despite that you wore it with pride. If you had any shame that day it didn't show on your face. A toothpick hung out of your little smirk and your eyes looked like they had some gossip they just had to tell. But it was that cap. We can never be friends.

Sure, I thought you were cool. You've been involved with some good work. But I don't know you. And just because you've acted "cool" in front of a camera doesn't mean you are. Maybe you actually we're cool, once. Maybe you changed. Maybe it was the money or the fame, but it doesn't really matter. I don't know you. Nobody knows you.

I wish you the best. I hope your life is full of happiness. We all have to live with the consequences of our mistakes and forgive the mistakes of others. But we also have to cut ties to those who would suck us into their mistakes, and I just can't be a part of this. Good luck.

Friday, September 25, 2009

FUCK THIS JOB!

I am really upset about some problems at my work and the only thing that makes me feel better are classic hip hop videos. Have a good Friday. Do drugs.


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Saturday, September 12, 2009

CUSTOMER HALL OF FAME!!!

Last week I spent two hours on the clock making the CUSTOMER HALL OF FAME. I wrote it on large butcher paper and posted it in the "loud" break room. It promptly disappeared two days later.

Here is a partial list of the hall of famers.

TIGER AND HIS "MOM"
CAMO/BAG GUY
DRUNK BRUCE WILLIS
FRY GUY
TIGHT PANTS GUY
SMELLY LADY
STEVE STILLS
DRUNK TONY DANZA
CLIPBOARD GUY
NO SCAN LADY
CAT EYED GUY IN THE WHEEL CHAIR
LAUGHING BARBRA
THE EXCEPTIONALLY DRESSED MAN
KC THE SAMPLER
SAMUEL L JACKSON IN UNBREAKABLE GUY
SWEAT PANTS GUY
TRIPLE MACHIATO/BEER GUY
THE RUSSIAN PSYCHIC
THE SICILIAN MAN WITH FUCKED UP EARS
KIM KARDASHIAN LOOK-A-LIKE
THE COFFEE SAMPLERS
TIM BURTON GUY
UPSET RECYCLING LADY
THE STRAIGHT GUY WHO INVENTED THE PRIDE FLAG
SINGING RUSSIAN LADY
ZAC EFRON FIX GEAR GUY
HOBBIT HIPPIE DUDE
OLD STEALY
MAN BOOBS
GORILLA BISCUITS SHIRT GUY

I honestly can't remember them all. I also had the whole store's help when I was writing this. Let me know if you can think of any I'm forgetting.